What Is Empathy?

Empathy is easier to describe with starting by telling you everything it is not. Empathy is not feeling exactly what someone else feels and ignoring your feelings. Empathy is not something that is “better” than those who don’t feel any feelings. Empathy is not something that is easily understood/experienced until a person heals (starts healing) from his or her past.

Empathy is a bigger idea than you may have thought about, mainly because it connects to energy, and it is the ability to relate to anybody, regardless of the feelings, or lack thereof.

Empathy is the reason we can connect together as a species. If we end up going into relationships with the intention that we can learn something about perspective, as well as show our own perspective to others, then empathy just happens. There are two sides to empathy though.

There is a bias that empathy comes from understanding another person’s feelings and thoughts right there in that moment, and that is one side of empathy, assuming you have healed yourself, but there is a side of empathy that is experienced first. Let’s say you don’t understand a perspective someone has and you think another person is completely ridiculous for having that perspective (because of trauma). Empathy is your natural self-awareness to try to understand. You will do this naturally the more you don’t understand something that you desire to understand (in order to be your limitless self). Your actions will eventually align with feeling what the other person feels, but it won’t be immediate.

With that first side of empathy, feeling like you hate another person, feeling like someone else is stupid, feeling like you want nothing to do with another person, etc. is a LARGE part of empathy that is overlooked because it doesn’t happen in the moment – it takes time. This is because the ego doesn’t like to be wrong, so since there is a possibility given someone else’s perspective, then that is bothersome to your being. It becomes so bothersome that you end up subconsciously (and consciously if you don’t fight it) do actions to understand that perspective. The great thing when you try to understand a different perspective with this side of empathy, then you will be closer to your limitless self. Also, it is worth noting that you don’t truly hate another being because you have not experienced the whole life that the person has, so you can’t – you only hate the part of you that doesn’t understand their perspective. When it comes to the second side of empathy, which is feeling and thinking what another person feels and thinks in the moment, the more you care about yourself fully and unconditionally, then that allows you to relate to others by being yourself. Both sides of empathy cannot exist without each other.

The kicker is…. The more clash you have with someone, the more you relate/connect to that person in his or her entirety compared to anyone else. The reason being is the person is mirroring a side of you that you are hiding from the world and you have tried to avoid being, but that’s a topic for another day. In all, if you are experiencing empathy in the way it is intended, it will help you create respect/love from others in the short and long run – not jealousy, not anger, not hate, etc.


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